If you cringed slightly when you clicked this article, fearing the guilt you might feel while reading, just take a deep breath. There is so much grace in this area, it simply helps to be aware! I know I can’t be the only mom out there who is simultaneously thrilled to be home with my children for most of the day, but also desperate for a break. Maybe 30 minutes to get something done, or maybe just a break from entertaining a toddler. There are dishes that have piled up. Crumbs cover the kitchen floor. Is that laundry clean or dirty? Endless tasks to complete, a baby that needs almost constant attention, and a toddler tornado running wild through it all. Those are the moments I gaze over at the TV, knowing it has the potential to give me the hours of screen time peace I long for. 

Here is one thing that is important to know: there are real, negative effects for both you and your child if screen time (watching shows or playing games on iPads, tablets, phones, or TV) is abused. Here is another thing to know: there are ways to engage with screens in a safe and appropriate way! 

Perspective on Screen Time

Navigating how to parent with screen time is still a relatively new skill. Streaming services became popular in the early 2000s, and in the decades since they have grown to offer a larger selection. Options on the TV are limitless and can offer hours of occupation for our children. However, parents should be aware of the potential real results of too much screen time.

Studies over the years have shown that watching “too much” screen time consistently can lead to significant behavior problems, delayed language development, sleep disturbances, attention difficulties, and eye strain. It seems to be something that can impact us physically, mentally and emotionally, which is why parents need to be aware! 

Do yourself a favor and do not get discouraged by the overwhelming feeling that you have to get rid of all screen time immediately in your home and routine. If you have or do use screen time as a crutch, it can be really hard to make dramatic changes like that. Here is one step to take if you do want to lessen screen reliance in your home: make screens your last resort option. 

Reducing Screen Time

Try to think just one step outside the box, getting just one step more creative with a suggestion to your kids. Run through a list in your head – is there a toy they haven’t played with today? Is there a craft bin somewhere you could pull out? Could they build a fort or facetime a family member? Could you put some new songs on YouTube or listen to a recorded book reading (without the screen)? Is there a household task they could safely “help” you with?

It doesn’t have to be anything complicated or crazy, but try to come up with a go-to list that you can pull from when your kids ask for screens. You might be surprised that something you suggest might actually entertain them well. Just make yourself go one step further and try one more activity before you grab the remote!

Despite our best efforts, there may be days that we choose not to avoid screen time. There could be good reasons for this! Maybe watching a show is a SAFE activity for your toddler to do while you put the baby down for a nap. Maybe you have sick kids and are trying to lighten their miserable spirits. Here are a few things to consider when deciding when and how to implement screens in your home: 

1. Don’t make it routine! Allowing a show “every day before nap” or “during snack time” or whenever it may be, creates an expectation that screen time will be a part of every day. By allowing shows (or iPad time) at various times during the day, your kids learn that screens can be part of life without being a necessary part of your day to day routine. Set up screens as a privilege, reward, or special occasion and not an expectation.
2. Choose your shows wisely. So many kids shows are designed to be very bright, fast paced, and overstimulating for young kids. These are the shows that are the most addicting and result in the most behavior issues as a result of the addiction they cause. One thing that can help is being aware of more low stimulation TV show options. Some of these shows include: Curious George, Little Bear, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie, Peppa Pig, Guess How Much I Love You, Daniel Tiger, and Snowy Day. Often, these shows provide sweet stories with concepts that are helpful and applicable to the lives of young kids. Which leads me to my next tip to offer.
3. Talk to your child about the show. It can actually be so helpful for kids to hear new stories and learn about different characters. However, if they only stare at a screen and don’t engage with these things, we are missing a huge opportunity. After a show, ask your child to tell you what happened in the show. Set aside some intentional time to PLAY with your child during the day, and during that time act out the episode he or she watched most recently. For example, if Peppa Pig got new neighbors, maybe you play farm and pretend that the barn animals are getting new neighbors. This helps ensure that your child is learning a concept from the show that they can really carry over into their life.

Conclusion from a Speech Therapist

Overall, know that turning a show on for your kids does not define your parenting or make you a bad mom! This is a new and hard thing for millennials to navigate as parents. Stick to a mindset of having minimal and meaningful screen time. Minimal = not a lot of it. Meaningful = it is something your kids learn from.

Finally, remember to give yourself grace.