I would love to one day just flow into the me, who I was made to be.
Who would I have been if I was born from being wanted and planned for?
Who could I have been if that little girl could grow up in a flowers, sunshine and rainbows filled world?
I grieve that little girl.
Who would have been created if the demon of my second grade life just hadn’t come?
Who let him in to steal my voice, body and idealistic child-like mind? Who let him in and why did he agree to be the dark shadow that now always follows me?
I will find my true self one day.
I will unfold all the locked up hurt thoughts and memories, put them in a pile onto a damp ground in a cemetery and peacefully walk away.
I will walk back into my life that has been waiting for me in my second grade world.
She’s waiting for me to come back and get her.
Little girl, I’m sorry I was forced to leave you. You are no longer stuck in that dark, scary apartment.
I release you into this beautiful world to grow into exactly who you were created to be.
You’re no longer 8 years old, you’re full grown and loved.
Author of Behind the Walls