Toxic Mommy Culture

One topic in our culture that is widely accepted and celebrated is the “Mommy Wine”/” Mommy Coffee” culture. We watch reels of moms sipping a glass of red wine while their children run wild, or we see women barely surviving before their morning cup of coffee. Even though we laugh at these thirty-second reels, I wonder if this mindset is beneficial. We as a culture are basically saying that we cannot survive or be around our own children without something to either energize us or calm us down.

Now please know I do not judge anyone for enjoying their coffee or an occasional glass of wine, I personally do not drink alcohol, but I do love coffee. Drinking coffee is one of my favorite things to do, but I want to get out of the mindset that I must have it to get through the day. The reality of it is that I don’t. I can be a good and patient mom without it; because it isn’t the coffee that makes me that way. I must choose everyday what type of mom I want to be, and I must rely on the Lord to make it so. This liquid substance culture that is so prevalent in our society is killing us. It is making our motherhood reliant on a substance and the reality is, we all choose our own addictions. Even if those things we have become reliant on aren’t wrong within themselves how we choose to use them and how we see our lives and our families without them is what can turn something enjoyable into something sinful. This way of thinking can become toxic and our need for our next caffeine or alcoholic fix can cause more damage than good.

We need to become moms who strive to live better. We want to show our kids that we rely on the Lord and not on our own strength. That we can give them a good life without needing something to cope with to get us through the mundane parts of life. I am guilty of this too, I sometimes feel that if I don’t get my cup of coffee I won’t make it through the day, but do I feel that way if I miss reading my Bible that day or if I get some sort of physical exercise in? I must reevaluate my priorities and be honest about what I am relying on to function during the day. I want to become resilient, not reliant. I want my kid to see that he isn’t a burden, that ultimately, I need Jesus and nothing else.

I want that to be the anthem of my life and I am working toward it. Motherhood is hard, but this is what we were made for, and our purpose should be clear. We all have days where we feel like we can’t do this, that we are beaten, but nothing that we consume will ever make us a better mom, wife or friend. There is nothing wrong with loving it, we just need to stop idolizing it. We as moms need to stop this substance culture, teaching our kids not just how to survive the day, but how to thrive.

As a new generation of moms, it is time to step up, making sure we are fueling ourselves with what we really need, not just enjoy. Let’s not get so caught up in this new form of “mommy culture” that we forget we are creating our own cultures right in our own homes. That we create the kind of family our kids grow up in and learn from, that they can bloom and flourish while knowing what self-control is. I want my son to learn traits like self-control, resilience, and perseverance from me. Let’s start taking this culture back, enjoy the little things like your morning cup of coffee, but find your reliance in Jesus and the people that care for you to make it through the day. Let’s make a “Mommy Culture” we can be proud of and continue for the next generation to come.