It was a simple gesture, but one that said everything.

When the President visited Kerrville, Texas following the tragic deadly flooding, the first responders greeted him with strong handshakes and respectful salutes. But when they turned to greet the First Lady, something different happened; hats came off, spines straightened, and their handshake became a gesture of honor.

They weren’t just meeting the First Lady of the United States, they were showing her the respect America once taught every boy when it came to the treatment of women. And for a brief moment, we were all reminded of something: chivalry isn’t dead, it’s just slipped from our daily vernacular.

Home Is Where the Start Is

As mothers, our primary vocation is shaping the next generation of American men and women. In a culture that ridicules masculinity or laughs at basic etiquette, claiming it to be outdated – and even sexist – it’s up to us to keep the chivalric flame alive.

As with most things, this starts in our own homes.

Old-School Manners

Old-school is probably not the right term. We’re talking about the basics here; standing when women enter a room, taking your hat off for women in authority, showing difference to women, helping them with all things, and no matter how trivial. These used to form the basis for the relationship between men and women.

And then one day we, collectively, decided that relationship was too archaic, too stuffy. Worse, we relegated it to sexist under the false belief that men only did those things because they thought women were weak and helpless — not because, as is the truth, it is a man’s responsibility to make sure a woman’s life is as easy as possible.

The bottom line is that  we should stop pretending men only do nice things out of spite or a desire to dominate. Instead, we should start teaching our boys how to be gentlemen and our girls how to be ladies. Here are 5 old-school manners to teach your sons if you want them to grow into respectful, confident, All-American gentlemen.

1. Remove Your Hat for a Woman or the Flag

This simple gesture is rooted in showing respect. Entering a building, especially private spaces and churches, men would remove their hats to “reveal” their identity as it was seen as suspicious and devious to keep your hat on. It seems like a strange rule maybe, but it speaks volumes.

Teach your son that there are places and people that are sacred. These deserve our best, our full attention, our full person. When he greets a woman, not only should he stand up for her, but he should remove his hat, even if it’s just for a minute. When he hears the National Anthem he should take his hat off and hold it over his heart. When he enters a church he should present himself to God without hiding behind a hat or wearing a worn out baseball cap. Teach your son that a gentleman removes his hat as a quiet way to  show respect without saying a word.

2. Offer a Firm Handshake and Look Women in the Eye

She doesn’t bite, we promise. A real handshake (that is, one that’s firm, confident, and paired with eye contact) builds trust in an instant. It’s also a very basic way to acknowledge someone’s personhood, but especially a woman. You are, after all, greeting someone made in the image of God. Boys need to know that character often starts with first impressions and respectful acknowledgement. And a gentleman always greets others with strength, openness, and sincerity.

3. Open the Door

This one has gotten the most heat and criticism over the years. We hear the feminists now: “I can open it for myself. What am I stupid and weak?!” Ugh, we will never understand how they can be so misled. Whether it’s for a woman, an elder, or anyone behind him at the store, your son should hold the door. Holding the door isn’t about one person’s power over another’s weakness, it’s about courtesy. It’s a way of saying, “You go first” or “I’ve got you” or “Let me take care of you”. And in a self-centered, self-serving, I-Me-My world, that’s a rare and beautiful thing.

4. Stand When a Lady Enters the Room

This tradition may feel like it belongs in a black-and-white film or around a medieval banquet table, but its impact and meaning still matter. Standing up is a sign of respect, pure and simple. It tells the woman, “I see you, I honor you, and I want you to feel welcomed.” It’s a small sacrifice that also allows the gentleman to help the woman with anything she might need; from getting her chair for her, to taking her hat and coat, getting her a drink, or simply allowing her to sit in the best seat. That’s manhood, not manners and boys need to know the difference.

5. Yes Ma’am and No Sir

Politeness is strength under control. It’s the difference between treating everything as though it doesn’t matter and treating everything and everyone as though they are the most important. Teaching boys (and yes, girls too, but this one is about the boys) to say “Yes, ma’am” and “No, sir” isn’t about formality or even servitude—it’s about instilling respect, even when they don’t agree. It teaches humility, gratitude, and deference in a culture desperate for all three.

Raise All-American Gentlemen

The world is rapidly trying to rewrite what it means to be a man. Whether it’s feminism bashing masculinity, boys being ignored and called toxic, or women claiming to be men in the midst of trans ideology, the art of being a gentleman is fading away. But with our help, it doesn’t have to. Let’s raise boys who honor what’s timeless and rooted in their very nature.

Because hats off, handshakes, respect for their fellow creature, and standing tall never go out of style.

What’s more, the women they marry and the nation they serve will be better for it.